It’s the end of trail and the cops are watching us from across Shop City plaza. It’s the second time we’ve seen the cops tonight so instead of pressing our luck, it’s time for a 30 second circle. I splash a little PBR in all welcoming vessels—”You’re stupid, you’re stupid, you’re really fucking dumb, if it wasn’t for your mother, you’d be a stain of cum!”—we drank a social and went on to the on-after. Sure, this was probably the safe option, but there were seriously a lot of down-downs earned on our inaugural Leap Day Hash. So for purposes of the hash record, I, the default RA in absence of any better options, confer the following down-downs (in pseudo-chronological order):
Down-down to the hares (originally Kicky and C/2) for setting a shitty trail
This starts out typically enough.
Down-down to the virgin
Did we actually have one? I think he disappeared in the confusion
Another down-down to the hares for setting a “special trail” in multiple colors of flour
What was special about that? I guess we’ll never know.
Down-Down to Goldie for offering to RA, but not even getting to the legal disclaimer
Why, you may ask, did she not even get that far? This brings us to our next down-down…
Another down-down to the hares for setting a trail from a parking lot that closes at dusk, which the cops routinely check at dusk, and through a park which also closes at dusk. The cops were generally reasonable when they showed up, though I’m pretty sure that bit about thinning out the deer population in Green Lakes was just a ploy to keep us from moving to another parking lot and hashing in the park anyway
Another down-down to the hares for setting a cooler on a private road, getting the cops called on them, and having the cops confiscate our cooler, then recognizing C/2’s plates while they were waiting for us to leave the parking lot. At least the cops gave the cooler back to us so we didn’t have to go get it ourselves!
A down-down to everyone who was indecisive in finding a new location for a live trail (social!–or maybe we can just blame this on our GM?!)
Down-down to those who threw in the towel and skipped our live trail at Shop City (Goldie, Fleshy, Dry Spell, Anal, a few more including our virgin)
Down-down to our newly reconstituted hares (Kicky, C/2, Snidely)
Down-down to everyone who bought beer while we were giving the hares a head start (Ass Full, Pom Pilot, OTD, someone went to the liquor store?!)
Down-down to our hares for setting trail on 90 degree turns without any checks or other indications that we shouldn’t continue straight
Down-down of appreciation to Just Tim for keeping the clock on how long of a head start we’ve given the hares after the shot stop
Down-down to everyone who was impatient and left after only 5 minutes (social!)
Down-down to C/2 for misunderstanding where the BN should be and putting it behind a random building
Down-down to Kicky and Snidely for continuing to set trail even though the pack was no longer following them. (The hares would be pretty drunk at this point!)
Down-down to Ass Full and Chunks for following the rest of trail to find Kicky and Snidely, only to lose it when the hares stopped setting it
Down-down to everyone who skipped C/2’s leg of trail and ran right back to Shop City (social!)
Down-down to anyone who hashed 4 or more times in the last 9 days of February (there’s a few that need to Get a Life, Get a Life Get a Life Life Life!)
May the hash go in peace (may the hash get a piece!)
Thank Gisbert that Leap Day only comes once every 4 years!
Irrespectfully Submitted,
-Ass Full of White Man
