Rehash #91: Toga! Toga! Toga!

Trail #91 was another reminiscence hash. SOH4 returned to Ahern’s so that Shark Week and Morning Glory Hole could celebrate their analversary together. Fleshlight and Cummando Cobbler helped them with their virgin lay. Yep, those crazy kids waited a whole year to lay a trail!

The evening started in typical chaotic fashion—no beer, no hares, no RA and people milling about in togas. Just a regular Monday night in Syracuse for half-minds. There were plenty of virgins and some visitors from Ithaca and Flour City. It was also a rare sighting of Tits McSmart who was able to break out of her office and have some fun. The night almost became a real Greek tragedy before the hash ever got started when Puddle Humper was nearly backed over by a truck. Thanks to the sharp eyesight and quick footwork of Pocket Full of Lube the disaster was averted.

And boy, do these wankers know how to toga! While traditional white was certainly well represented, the hash was not afraid to show some creativity (as if that’s a surprise!). Slip, Upper Decker, and Puddle Humper wore a matching zebra striped ensemble. Turtle Dick and Dr. Camel Shrinker wore sheer curtains—hers in white, his in pink! The word diaphanous came to mind, which Tits thought might be too many syllables for half-minds. Pink Penalty sported a Mexican poncho toga—perfect for a humid summer evening. Mudman’s toga had Toy Story characters and nearly every color of the rainbow was represented. Perhaps the most authentic was Pastorbator in a deep purple toga, rumored to be a color reserved for royalty, and a crown of vines.

Cummando led chalk talk, which was surprisingly coherent and legible, and after the legal disclaimer the hash was On-out! The hash headed down Split Rock Road where cars driving by were curious about the toga-clad runners. As we found a check the correct path seemed to be down a dead end road. Just Lyle noted that it was S & M-Oral Road, so of course we had to go that way. Soon we were running through a narrow path that smelled strangely like…..catnip. But alas, it was a false trail.

Running around an old stone quarry meant there were some nicely “paved” trails. The hash was pretty hot and sweaty now, so arriving at the first Beer Near was a welcome stop. After some refreshment the hash had a Turkey-Eagle split. There was more running and sweating but the reward was eventually found at the Shot Check with fruity jello shots! And then that running thing happened again and we ended up at the old stone crusher and a picture check. The wankers wasted no time climbing up to enjoy the view.

And then the next series of events went something like this:

What? This was a Beer Near too? But where is the beer? Wait? Say what? The beer is at the bottom? No problem, you say? Genital Manager and his beefy virgin will throw it to us? Perfect, how could that go wrong? Wait, WTF are you aiming at? (*sound of exploding beer cans hitting rock crusher*)Hey, stop you’re wasting beer! Seriously! Stop it now.

Eventually everyone ended up with beer. And the hash learned a very important lesson…big does not mean that you can aim for shit. Yep, that’s what she said.

From there it was Turkey up or Eagle down. Most elected to Eagle and from there it was a pretty quick jog bag to the On-in. Oh wait, that’s almost true. For some people it was a short and clean little stroll. For those who ended up behind GM and his beefy virgin it ended up a dirty affair—a mud puddle smack dab in the middle of the trail. Very few escaped this encounter clean.

The hash circled up back at Ahern’s and welcomed the hares to circle. And by hares I mean Cummando as the others were MIA. So Cummando took down-downs for a shitty trail and then virgins were welcomed. The ladies were welcomed a little too aggressively by Just AJ, who nearly tackled them and the beefy virgin had more male “Hello Babies” than female. Altogether a fine welcome to hashing. And down-downs for r*cist talk, out of towners, wasting beer (talking to you, beefy virgin), and other assorted offenses.

And then the topic of naming came up. It was time to name Just Dee and Just Crystal. And by Crystal I mean Casey. Just Dee was the first victim. She answered a series of questions and was probably relieved that her sister did not share any embarrassing stories (unlike another sister in the hash). And then names were discussed. And then Just Casey received the same treatment and when they were welcomed back to circle Just Dee and Just Casey were no more and Wet Nurse and Porn Free were welcomed to SOH4. And then the hash went in peace to get hopefully get a piece.

At the On-after food was ordered, beer was consumed, and life was generally good. Happy analversary, Shark Week & Morning Glory Hole. May you get a piece for many years to cum.

Respectfully submitted,

Came with a Fake Name

Rehash #88: Red Dress Hangover Hash

SOH4’s 88th trail was the Red Dress Hangover Hash. Saturday’s RDR debauchery provided plenty of inspiration for the theme, yet surprisingly very few came dressed—even with the promise of prizes. Slip wore her husband’s red dress (how often does a girl get to do that?) and Pocket Full of Lube pinned some aspirin packets to his shirt. Mostly everyone just looked like they were still hungover.
The hares were Snidely , Just Lyle, and Just Crystal. It was a return for Snidely to an area he had previously set an infamous trail—like shigtastic and long ass, and something about train tracks…?

It was ridiculously hot and humid at the start of trail. Chalk talk was held and there were no virgins that I can recall, but Flour City’s Virginator was visiting. Marks were the usual array of “WTF is that?” and some random splotches. Captain transferred the Shovel of Shame to Bushy for his pitch fork wielding at the previous trail. That would later prove to be an unwise choice, as one might imagine.

Half-minds had been warned about a shiggy trail and to bring a change of clothes, but it wasn’t sufficient warning! It was wet. Did I mention it was wet? And BTW, it was wet. I mean wet….like shin deep (thigh if you’re UC and ankle if you’re Vagiant) and went on and on and on. And wet too. Do I stutter? It was wet.

No, it was not a dry trail.

After awhile as half minds slogged on, they became immune to the stench of the mucky water and stopped thinking about the things lurking below the surface. And what is the appropriate thing to do in the middle of a long, wet slog through putrid water? Why a clothing swap, of course. So while amidst the swampy woods clothing came off and was exchanged.

Mercifully the trail did not enter the railroad tracks—although that might have been dry— and just squished along. Meanwhile Bushy discovered the fun that could be had with a shovel—oh the trees that could be knocked over and the rocks that could be hit. Safety was not just third, it was more like 33rd. Miraculously no one was actually injured.

The two beers nears and a shot stop—appropriately some wicked spicy Bloody Mary’s—helped to cure the ailments of the half-minds and make them forget their hot, wet, smelly selves. At least for the moment. There may have been some dry sections of trail, but I barely remember them. The overall impression of trail was, in a word: wet. Sweet relief would come at the On-in at Beginnings II where there was a hose for washing off. Grateful hashers lined up to hose of the muck and slime and cool off before putting on dry clothes.

And then circle began. Hares were given the appropriate love and respect for the delightful trail. And by delightful, I mean shitty and by love and respect, I mean down-downs. And did I mention that it was a wet trail? Yup, in case you didn’t hear, it was a wet trail. W.E.T.

And now maybe my memory fails me—maybe there was a virgin…I actually don’t know. (Write the stupid rehashes sooner, Fakey, and this wouldn’t happen!). If there was, we appropriately serenaded them and guided them through the welcoming ritual. And then a host of other accusations and down-downs were doled out—blood, peeing, come latelys, hash crashes, yada yada. Down-downs were done and lnow ips were wet. And then the subject of a naming came up.

Just Theresa, often affectionately known as Baby Slip, had not managed to avoid the final circle like usual. So it was declared that this rare opportunity would not be wasted. She was grilled by the hash and asked an assortment of probing questions and sent off to wonder about her fate while the hash discussed and deliberated. It was actually a very heated discussion with some very good choices being tossed about. But when all was said and done, Just Theresa was no more and Shits & Spits was welcummed to the hash.
Then the hash went in peace to hopefully get a piece. The On-after was at Beginnings II where wings and beverage were enjoyed and new hangovers were created.

Respectfully submitted,

Came with a Fake Name

Rehash #87: SOH4 2nd Anal Red Dress Run

I watched a snail crawl along the edge of a straight razor. That’s my dream. That’s my nightmare. Crawling, slithering, along the edge of a straight razor . . . and surviving.

Over 50 of the sexiest hashers ever to wear a red dress gathered at the Penny on a Saturday afternoon. After receiving even sexier soh4 red dress socks as hab, prelubing, and a nice presentation by a rep from Vera House, it was time for chalk talk where hares Drinks, Turtle, Camel, and OTD provided explanation of several new symbols. Though the hares were tired and drunk by then, so it was probably incoherent but hey at least trail was set in rainbow chalk! And then we were on out!

Which lasted up to the second check. Which hashers blew right past. And then assumed they weren’t on trail.

At this hash things get confused out there, power, ideals, the old morality, practical military necessity. But out there with these natives, it must be a temptation to be god. Because there’s a conflict in every human heart, between the rational and the irrational, between good and evil. And good does not always triumph. Sometimes, the dark side overcomes what Lincoln called the better angels of our nature.

So we were on hare over to the fountains. Which several hashers lamely skipped. After a solid quarter mile R6 that got hashers a nice view of the liquor store, we were off to the first beer near, where we figured it was a good time to introduce everyone and for Slip to remind us the days of the week.

At this point the red dress *run* had definitely turned into a red dress walk/stumble, as everyone waited at the Pink Taco Package Check for our guest of honor. Taco, having made the mistake of desiring more package checks, got her yearly supply and more than she bargained for, perhaps.

From there it was onto regathering at… the Hiawatha overpass walkway into Destiny USA. And on up to Toby Keith’s I Love This Bar and Grill for the second beer near. And then we all wandered from there over to the carousel for a ride.

It should be noted we attempted to take 2 shifts and be out of their way in 10 minutes when they reopened from breaks. It should be noted we attempted to have parents not ride with their children. Instead…

You have a right to do that, but you have no right to judge me. It’s impossible for words to describe what is necessary to those who do not know what horror means. Horror! Horror has a face, and you must make a friend of horror. Horror and moral terror are your friends. If they are not, then they are enemies to be feared. They are truly enemies.

So that happened, and then after taking pictures with several people in the mall we were on out to the creekwalk where there were jello shots. Except for the 10 hashers who literally blew past the FTOJS check and kept going, some of whom eventually made it back.

And then we were off to the final beer near at the playground near Middle Ages, where we kicked a keg from same establishment. Evidently the most controversial set of Jesus Can’t Go Hashing verses broke out and verses we have done a bunch of times upset some unnamed hashers. Some of us were more upset that Chunks implied that Anal can’t count.

And then some hashers drunkenly wandered into Middle Ages for even more beer. From here it was basically on in to the Penny. Food, circle, and then awards followed, as well as an announcement that we had raised a sizable amount of money for Vera House. Anyone who claims to remember what happened from here is obviously lying as people misplaced piles of red dresses, whatever remained of their dignity, and quite possibly their sanity…

This is the way the f**king world ends. Look at this f**king sh*t we’re in man. Not with a bang, but with a whimper. And with a whimper, I’m f**king splitting.

On – hashpocalypse now – on and respectfully submitted,

PS – thanks and much love to the over 20 SOH4 members who helped make this day happen
PPS – most of this day is fuzzy memories.

Rehash #85: Hashlympics

Dressed in their finest red, white, and blue in support of the USA world cup game that coincided with the hash, about 50 hashers gathered on a Monday at the Tops parking lot in Manlius for SOH4 first hashlympics trail. Well eventually. A couple hashers wandered down to Mill Run Park before finding their way to the start. Meetup update fail, whoops.

Jackoff, affectionately known now also on the lust serv and elsewhere as Jackass (which is what we call hares who set water nears), provided chalk talk for the shitty trail he sent. That, and putting down a “Happy 6th Birthday Billy” sign in the pavilion day of trail to half-assedly reserve it, were his major contributions to this trail. UC and OTD would explain that there would be hashlympic event signups once we arrived at the field.

We ran Jackass, er, Jackoff’s short trail which had two boob checks and a package check before arriving at the hashlympics arena. From there sign-ups occurred, USA-Ghana score updates were provided, and other than that it’s a big awesome blur that left us incapable of speech or sobriety in ways that clearly altered our futures, destiny, and possibly, Gispert be praised, the nature of our humanity… because hashlympic results are now on the internet forever!

2014 SOH4 Hashlympic Event Results:

Beer Mile:
-Individual Male 1. Cummando Coobler 2. One Trick Dick 3. Just Cory
-Individual Female 1. Tweedle You
-Two-Person Relay 1. Kneegina / Just Nick 2. Pom Pilot / F*ckwod 3. Upper Decker Wrecker / Pink Penalty
1. Pastorbator / Butters / Fleshlight / Turtle Dick 2. Jackoff / Tweedle Me / Deflower City / Table It 3. Golden Snowball / Just Pat / Utica Chub / Same Job, Different Orifice

Father Abraham Pedometer Jiggling:
1. Tweedle Me 2. Just Lindsy 3. Butters

3-person Pod Races:
1. Cummando Coobler / Just Bryan / Captain Cock Controller 2. Just Susan / Just Pat / Just Mat 3. Same Job, Different Orifice / Golden Snowball / One Trick Dick

2 Person Pool Noodle Races:
1. Stiffy Lube / Table It 2. Jackoff O’Lantern / Butters 3. Flame Her / Poop Soup

Dizzy Bat Relay (7 person teams):
1. Pom Pilot / Cummando Coobler / Fleshlight / Curious Gorge / Just Zoe / Bushy Cholera / Chunks and Dunks

Survivor Flip Cup:
1. Turtle Dick 2. Pom Pilot 3. F*ckwod

S&M Man Verse Singoff:
1. One Trick Dick 2. Cummando Coobler 3. Genital Manager

Shot Tray Drinking Races (5 person teams):
1. Cummando Coobler / Tweedle You / Tweedle Me / Just Cory / Floppy Dicks

Pool Noodle Tour De Franzia (10 person teams):
1. Pom Pilot / Genital Manager / F*ckwod / Jackoff O’Lantern / Turtle Dick / Curious Gorge / Just Zoe / One Trick Dick / Tweedle You / Cummando Coobler

Overall Male Hashlympian:
1. Cummando Coobler
2. Turtle Dick

Overall Female Hashlympian:
1. Tweedle Me

Respectfully Submitted,
One Trick Dick

Rehash #79: Inner Harbor

Trail #79 began with a giant pre-lube at the Inner Harbor. We were actually pretty lucky that we found it since the Meetup directions put us in the wrong place. Oh half minds! But no worries…the sun was out and the beer was flowing. Eventually everyone found their way to the Inner Harbor Amphitheater parking area and there were lots of virgins!

Chalk talk was the usual incoherent babble and illegible marking, with Genital Manager and Pom Pilot as hares. There was a new twist for SOH4 with a BB check. Pom Pilot elaborated that it was for Brown Bag and that the hash could not move until the mystery contents of the brown bag were completely gone.

Once the legal disclaimer was out of the way the hash was On-Out. There was the usual miscues and running in the wrong direction but eventually all wankers ended up in Franklin Square at the first BN under a bridge. As the rushing brown waters flowed by we half minds partook in the usual selection of shitty beers. Virgins were introduced to some good old hash standard songs and then we were off looking for trail again.

In the heart of Franklin Square we ended up at the BB and passed around the mystery bottle of boozey goodness that looped around and around until it was finally kicked. And then the hash was off again stumbling along to the second BN. The usual bawdy hash songs were toned down a bit as we had an audience consisting of some small children and their dad. The kids were fascinated by the group so One Trick Dick led us in a very tame “If You’re Happy and You Know It.” It was probably the first and last time the hash sang anything that clean in public.

And then it was On-out again for the final push back to the On-in. This is where things got interesting. We experienced a major hash crash as Butters fell in a giant hole covered with a small sheet of plywood. Oh the blood! Not to worry though, as Bushy was more than happy to shred his pants for a make shift bandage. Safety third, kids. It was around her that the hash acquired some magical trail treasures with the most exciting being a small piano. This allowed Fleshlight to provide the musical accompaniment to the final circle.

And oh boy, what a circle. So with Slip away cavorting in Europe and Jackoff still MIA, OTD had been acting as RA…but Pastorbator was ready to give it a go in his new role as backup-backup RA. Nothing like a little on the job training. It made for a bit of chaos and controversy, but when all was said and done, hares were properly called out for a shitty trail, the giant group of virgins was welcomed, and plenty of down-downs were doled out. Snidely and an unusually dressed up Captain bobbitted the trail.

And then the real fun began. Namings. Four namings. Yep, four. Seriously. After debate and discussion and a near tabling the hash said good bye to the former Just Callie, Just Chris, Just Dani, and Just Richard and welcomed Poop Soup, Flame Her, Curious Gorge, and Pocket Asian. As the sun set and the fifty pounds of flour settled in the parking lot, the group dispersed—including the curious family of onlookers that had gathered to witness the spectacle. Then the hash went in peace—hoping for a piece.

The On-after was back at SOH4 HQ—aka J. Ryan’s—where much food, drink, and merriment were had—so much so that we almost got thrown out for some sidewalk pantsing. But alas, in the end, no one was thrown out and the HQ remained safe.


Respectfully submitted,

Came with a Fake Name

Rehash #77: Adult World Erotica

In the seasonably warm spring afternoon of April 28 the hares slowly
traversed the half mile separating the bank from a cooler of cold
beer. As they deposited small mounds of flour landing with a dull but
satisfying thump on the warm pavement passerbys turned their heads to
ingest the sight of the three interlopers thrust by circumstance onto
the street corner. Captain, the controller of cocks strode
confidently in the rear of the group. He spoke first. “Do you think
they will like our trail?”. Before him walking two abreast his
companions spoke simultaneously. Male Bait’s strong chiseled jaw
opening slowly to pronounce “Well, I ..”. Captain imagined his strong
but agile tongue glancing behind his full lips as the ‘ell’ reached
his aching ears, distracting Captain’s eyes only momentarily from Male
Bait’s anatomy which with each step flexed its glistening calves as
thin beads of sweat dripped slowly from his inner thigh caressing his
muscular legs before gently depositing themselves on his white cotton
socks. Captain could only imagine Male Bait’s supple member flopping
gently between his thighs and rubbing ever so slightly on the inside
of his runnign shorts a mere layer of polyester lying between it and
Captains blissful lips which were already wetting themselves at the
thought. The Doctor who often drinks in solitude started imperceptibly
later having waited to speak as she tossed her shining brown curls
over her right shoulder wafting the scent of Lilacs towards Captain
and revealing her tender skin and deep copper eyes. Clinically Captain
knew she was beautiful but could not help but find himself taken aback
at her presence; interloping between him and the unknowing shining and
sensual lure before his eyes. As she finished her interjection, “Of
course they will, there’s beer, they don’t have to run very far and I
think there might be a movie that no one will remember or sit still
through”. Captain’s annoyance turned to shame as the Doctor’s ringing
voice shook him sufficiently from the clean purity of homo-erotic


Rehash #75: Dyngus Day

Take an obscure Polish holiday and add a bunch of half-minds and then throw in a bunch of shiggy and what do you get? The Dyngus Day Hash of course. Yep, Butters, Pocket, and Captain set a shiity trail starting from the Hollywood Theater in Mattydale.
So circle began with…well—I actually have no idea because I was a Bobbit, but I can imagine that it was some random flour markings and some blah, blah, blah about itbeing our own fucking fault, or something like that. I was actually pretty surprised to have missed circle because I was only about 15 minutes late and our trails never start on time…Surprise.

The beginning of trail was…well—I actually have no idea about that either, being a Bobbit and all…but from what I can gather from the random marks I did find was that it circled around a neighborhood. Some pleasant bike riding children asked if I was with that running group and that someone had her underpants on the outside and they said “Shark Geek.” Close, kids. Keep practicing and your reading scores will go up. They also told me that the group had gone left at the stop sign…which turned out to be a lie. Precious children— gifts from above, each and every one.

After getting really confused for awhile after hashing in Ithaca the previous weekend, I realized an X was a check here in good old Syracuse. Doh. Finally at a park, a nice soccer playing family said they had seen my group run through about an hour earlier. That was impossible, so I ventured off thinking a group of half-minds couldn’t stay hidden forever.

As I was about to give up, I suddenly heard to joyful din of hashers crashing across a brook. I was saved. They had just finished the first Beer Near and there was a full battle of pussy willow whipping and squirt guns shooting. From there the trail did its usual bit of back and forth and round and round. We ended up in the woods and in a bit of a thornpalcalyse. At some point Bushy tried to kill Slip by breaking a tree and hitting her in the head. It’s all fun and games until someone kills the RA.

We also encountered a creek that most tried to skirt around…but eventually it was impossible and everyone had to cross. And that is where the mayhem began. As the DFLs crossed the mucky water the FRBs began pegging water balloons at them. It was all out warfare. Goldie got nailed and went down and I am pretty sure she wasn’t the only casualty. Then back into more shiggilicious woods and a shot check.

After the shot check the hash returned to the more residential area for another SOH4 tradition—a failed boob check. So off went the ladies to find trail. Lots of running in the neighborhoods and then back to the woods where we found a treasure—a shopping cart. Yep, the dedicated hashers dragged it through the wood with Vomit Comet going for a wild ride. Captain was a little jealous, but was a promised a turn later.

There were some curious looks as the half-minds raced through the streets of Mattydale brandishing pussy willows and water pistols and now pushing a shopping cart. We ended up at the second Beer Near that was actually something of a scavenger hunt. Once it was finally located, the half-minds had their thirst quenched and it was a jog back to the On-In.

Back at the Hollywood, circle started off innocuously enough…some down-downs to hares for a shitty trail, some hash crashes, peeing on trail, and of course a down-down for Bobbits. The shopping cart ended up in circle with Captain in it—no surprise there—and everything was going along fine when the police showed up. Slip took charge and explained that we are a running club and he seemed skeptical. Actually, it could have gone much worse and he basically advised us to get out of there ASAP and that if anyone was not able to drive then perhaps it was best that they carpool. We half-minds are not half-wits, so we took that advice and headed to the On-After at Woody’s Jerkwater.

There was food, beer and a rousing sing-a-long to Journey’s “Don’t Stop Believin.”

Happy Dyngus Day, half-minds. On-better late than never!-on

Respectfully submitted,

Came with A Fake Name


And because this video can never be watched enough, enjoy!


Rehash #74: Sing your own Rehash for the Karaoke Trail

Play this:

Sing this:

Now, this is a story all about how
Fake-O’s lunch got flipped-turned upside down
Cuz Magical Dick Slit,
Male-Bait, and Utica Chub,
Layed plenty of booze for the good of the club!

Just west’a Syracuse, town of Solvay
On the playground was where we spent some of our day
Running round muddy’ freezing’ all swank
And stealing some volleyballs outside of the bank

We ran up some hills PA’s cock standing stark
Found some beer in the woods and some more in the park
Were all a bit worried Chunks would go in the dunk
Turns out it was captain who’d be playing the duck

Then a Genital Manager who was up to no good
Started making trouble in the neighborhood
He brought two giant bottles of grain alcohol
You know if we were serious hashers we’d have finished it all’

We rolled up to the bar about 7 or later
And we yelled to the tender ‘Yo homes flip her over’
We looked at the song books
And all did our best
But hey, either way we saw plenty of chests.


Rehash #73: Land O’Green Lakes

It was a rainy Monday night when dozens of SOH4 half minds arrived at Green Lakes. Badly Done Shiggy and Muddy was promised… and would be delivered on several levels. Ambitious hashers, some with BDSM paraphernalia, set up a tent in the parking lot to avoid the rain while prelubing and awaiting chalk talk…

Because it was the BDSM hash, ‘sub’ hares were recruited to assist: Vag made a poor decision and volunteered to assist OTD (more on that later), with Dry Spell offering to assist Kneegina. Chalk talk included lies about what marks would be seen. As promised the “CS” mark for Clothing Swap made it’s debut at SOH4.

And then Vag and OTD were off live setting first part of trail wherever there was shiggy or mud including standing water, thicket, and other trail elements. About 1/4 of the way into setting trail, Vag split off to set a false…. and became a hare lost on his own trail. OTD assumed he could catch up, follow trail, call for help (or maybe be seen because he’s 6’9″ for Gispert’s sake!)… OTD was wrong. The kennel quickly caught up as they made their way through standing water, or avoided it, up and down muddy paths, and actually found trail.

As hashers approached the first beer near, it became clear that Vag had gone missing. Which was especially unfortunate as he had most of the remaining flour to hand off to the other live hares. Instead they used what little flour was left to mark trail, and when that ran out they used parts of the flour bag or went on-hare to a strawberry shot check and to the second BN. Evidently at the second BN there were donut trail treasures discovered in a cabin, which hashers delirious from the cold and wet conditions elected to devour. Luckily no one needs to be renamed Patient Zero or have a hash disease named after them as a result.

Meanwhile, Vag was discovered nowhere near trail chasing deer through a field. After he tried to follow trail twice, he apparently gave up and headed back to the parking lot (down downs galore for that). Speaking of abandoning hope, while Vag and OTD were waiting near where we were told the second BN was, a wayward individual wandered down the road. Tired and ragged, he was hoping we could tell him how to get back to the parking lot. This was Just Bryan, who had lost his key on trail and had actually found it!

Eventually we all made our way back to the parking lot, where it was decided to avoid hypothermia and go to circle indoors at the after. This led to an interesting circle including a pause for the national anthem, hashers sitting on couches, copious amounts of wings being consumed , a potential virgin trying to join us after wanting help with the ATM en route to rehab the next day (?!), and other odd things that happen when circle occurs during the NCAA championship at a sports bar. Our lone virgin even made up an accusation of peeing twice on trail. After a full circle S&M man singalong , it was onto a naming of former Just Rob. During which PA and OTD combined for a new verse to a hash song in his honor: ‘if your mall date tastes like sh*t, flip her over; if her mall date tastes like sh*t, that’s her *ssh*le not her kid…’… yeah that’s going in the SOH4 hymnal update and was sung several times. After lengthy deliberation, he was named Pastorbator (or Pastorbaiter, or something). And then got more flour on him than was on the second part of trail…

Respectfully submitted even though Fakey does it better,

Rehash #69: Best 69 EVER

69 Things I Can Still Remember After the 69th Trail and the Most Epic On-After

  1. It was sunny
  2. It was cold
  3. It was really windy
  4. There were cool glow-in-the-dark mugs
  5. We got tags and beads (not the anal kind…)
  6. There was beer drinking in a parking lot
  7. There were a lot of people
  8. IH3 and FCH3 visited
  9. There were people from Connecticut
  10. Hares were Ass Full, Drinks, and Kicky
  11. Chalk talk was jibberish
  12. Chunks was late but made the disclaimer
  13. We ran in circles through snow
  14. The sunset was awesome
  15. We ran around a neighborhood
  16. Snidely and Tweedle Me wrestled in snow (no surprise there)
  17. We dodged traffic on West Genesee Street
  18. No one died
  19. Just Bill and Slimy Rubber Cock had backpacks for r*acist training
  20. We climbed up an embankment
  21. There were thorns and snow
  22. There was blood
  23. Goldie got scratched on the cheek
  24. More blood
  25. The first Beer Near was by an old ski lift
  26. Jackoff climbed on top of it
  27. He didn’t fall
  28. There was a big hill
  29. Some of us fell
  30. Most butt slid down or belly flopped down
  31. There was a ski area
  32. TweedleMe ran up the ski hill
  33. Tweedle Me fell
  34. Tweedle Me skidded down
  35. Drinks gave the ski operator a beer
  36. He was cool but wouldn’t let anyone else run up the hill
  37. We ran around some more in random neighborhoods
  38. It was really dark
  39. We ran through shiggy
  40. A little girls asked Fakey and Once You Go Black if it was a scavenger hunt
  41. There was a parking lot
  42. There was a shopping cart
  43. Captain fit in the shopping cart
  44. There is video proof
  45. No one died crossing West Genesee Street
  46. We found the Second Beer Near
  47. We sang
  48. We sang more
  49. We ran through the snow in the dark
  50. There was a lot of hash crashing
  51. On-in back at the parking lot
  52. At circle hares did down-downs for shitty trail
  53. Virgins Just Jay, Just Corey, and Just Eric were welcomed
  54. Cum-latelys were accused (Turtle who?)
  55. Out-of-towners did down-downs
  56. Just Bryan and Dry Spell drank from their new shoes
  57. Kicky awarded prizes for Best 69 attire
  58. The hash went in peace to get a piece
  59. The On-After at Assil’s was really hard to find
  60. We found it
  61. We arrived in time to see SU lose to NC State in the ACC Tournament
  62. We drank beer
  63. We ate a lot of food
  64. We drank more beer
  65. We danced
  66. We drank more beer
  67. We danced some more
  68. Magical arrived late and showed off his dance skills

Came with a Fake Name