The 976th running of the Ithaca Hash House Harriers happened to also be the 543rd running of Syracuse OnOnDoga Hash House Harriers and Harriettes at Tick Hollow near Cortland. This trail had it all. Something for the walkers, something for the runners, New beers in lieu of hash cash. Trail was brought to us by bihashual hares Kickstand and B.V.D. And what a trail it was. Spike brought treats, Floss brought heavy treats.
We started with chalk talk as soon as the hares got back from setting the BNs with the fresh new beers this bountiful day had bestowed. We did introductions as there were many a face we did and didn’t recognize, nature of the beast with an interhash event. We had visitors from Burlington and some from what I want to say was one of the Carolinas, I think South but they may be moving back to Ithaca; maybe not visitors but repatriots. We also had a virgin in our midsts. Welcome virgin Melissa. B.V.D. and Kicky laid out what we were going to see on trail. All your favorite marks were there. We had on ones, twos, on on on on ons, The check was a combined check a circle with an x on it. Kicky used that international false he’s so fond of. We also had BN’s and shots. We had the blessing of the trail then we were off.
We started by heading onto the trail just off of Gracie road. There was some turkey eagle business in there and much reveling on the way. We happened upon a song check that looked suspiciously like a shot check. We sang Chicago. There were a lot of really good verses. Head got, well graphic, as she is want to do during that particular song. After the song we ran a little bit more and ended up at a beer near, hooray. There was a nice selection of beer and snacks. One lucky hasher was spied eating fried rice with chopsticks. We sang a new years song and by that I mean a song from a printout that B.V.D. put together that had new songs in it. Then we on-outed to the next adventure.
From here trail led us across a road into some deep dark woods. There was an R in these woods somewhere, some checks, and other nasty business. We eventually came out into some fields where we had a shot stop. This one was mudslide. We came pretty close to finishing the bottle. Spirits were high and so was half the pack by this point. Or so I am told, safety third. Oh I think this one also doubled as a mobile beer near if I’m not mistaken.
From here trail took us back down some trails. There was a pee check in this leg of the course. There was a secret mark discussed at chalk talk and I’m pretty sure this is to what they were referring. There was yet another T/E split in here somewhere if I am not mistaken. There were some dangerous wooden bridges and other hazards too. We eventually reached another beer near and had even more fun if you can believe it. We showed virgin Melissa how to down down and shot a bunch of shit. We were on in from here.
We arrived back to the start before it even started to get dark, not something I thought possible. Circle was conducted. Hares were shamed. Trail was too dry, too short, too interhashual and other things. ‘Fuck you for being a hare’ was performed. Poor one out for the hommie Betty ‘Rose’ White yall. We brought the virgin into circle for a down down. We got a song from the Burlington contingent. It was a good one about self pleasure. If anyone caught the name please put it in the comments. We had one for anyone eating Chineese food on trail. There was one for if you peed on trail. There was another one for anyone who came back without a balloon that went out with a balloon. There were others I’m sure. We had an up up and side side birthday combo to celebrate both B.V.D. and Miss D’s recent birthdays. There was the our lager may the hash get a peace bit then we were out.
On-after was at Cortland Beer Company but ope they were closed. Then it was at ONCO in Tully but ope that was probably too far away and ended up being at Hobos in Homer. There may have been others but that is where Kicky, 3 Dog, U.C. , Miss D’ and I ended up. It was a good time. Now to put the train back on the tracks for a few weeks.
SOH4 Winterhash regos have opened check the SOH4 website for detrails.
IH3 – Next trail is next Sunday 1/9. Keep your eye on the usual places. Who knows what madness will befall us
IH3 Elections have been finalized here are the results:
HC/OS: Red White and Blue Ballz
HR: Shiggy Shaman
RA: Reverse Penguin
Hoppy New Beers yall.
- 23 degrees
- 4 bottles
- 5 j checks
- 2 miles
- inch or so of snow
- walking BN
- BN at tusk
- naked breasts pressed against the outside glass at tusk
- virgin territory (?) at bus station and Billings park
- group pics at shotclock, soldiers and sailors
- several monuments
- Christmas lights
- 1 bag frosted animal crackers
Sit down with a beer(or twelve) and let me tell you about a trail set by a man called Pleasantly Average and maybe Kickstand.
Set a trail on April fools day near Onondaga hill,Hashers were we and thirsty we were,Running shiggy trail across the land.
We were On-On, true trail as I recall…there wasn’t even a Hasher who’d hash crashed-BEER NEAR we called!
But we knew something was ah-rye; we searched and searched, but no avail! Oh where is the beer hares! Murmurs of April fools pranks began to circulate-but when PA arrived on the scene, ‘oh fuck me’ is all he could articulate.
Boy were we pissed….the beer was gone-a true April Fools joke on us. The BN was right off of a high school property, some damn kids must’ve scored BIG before they got on the bus! We were also still really pissed at the hares at this point-destroyed the next cooler of beer and made the hares drink for their terrible beer hiding skills. Probably someone got named afterwards because we had like 6 people with names at that point. On after at Kelly’s.
Later on in the late spring-early summer, The Post-Standard or Syracuse.com or whomever, did an article on SOH4(search inner webs) [ed. article available here] and in true spirit of the human/hashing condition, a good sumaritan with a heart and liver of good disposition, Read of our hashing ways, and after a social media outreach, showed up on a Monday!
A cooler these kind folks returned-it’s color was True Blue!The beer inside was different than before-in fact my dear hashers-there was more! More lagers and stouts, some IPAs too!
We thanked with all our hearts these kind folks for returning our spirit and joy-our feeling of youth, cure of a hangover-the irony is, they thought we were punk-ass high school kids. They loved what we did, became quick virgins, then we never saw them again! I don’t think they were into all the songs personally…
Moral of the story- hide your fucking beer hares!
On-hide your beer-On
Cummando, veteran of the lost April Fools hash beer hash and their return of really great beer in place of shit beer.
File Under: Gobshite, Fake News, Factory of Lies, Never Letting the Truth Getting in the Way of a Good Story
So, yeah, for SOH4 return to Monday we… returned to where we returned for Monday previously. Literally. For Dyngus Day trail. Same start, same trail. One would think one couldn’t get lost. One would be wrong.
“There is an opposite to deja vu. They call it jamais vu. It’s when you meet the same people or visit places, again and again, but each time is the first. Everybody is always a stranger. Nothing is ever familiar.” – Chuck Palahniuk, “Choke’
So yep, Butters, Just Laura, and Captain informed eager hashers of the marks that they would see on trail and handed out pussy willows and squirt guns and we were off. We were thisclose to convincing a runner we crossed in first part of trail to join us but she declined. Maybe another time.
And then we were into the woods after crossing a small stream. Vag bounded across the stream like a deer that skipped stream bounding day in school (pic of this in SOH4 bookface group), but hey his shoes stayed dry for another three seconds before we walked through nearly freezing standing water for 20 minutes. I didn’t see anyone fall in, but found out later that Six had an epic hash crash at some point in there. I reminded the FRBs that there are two ways to get a shot from a J check, r*nning fast or walking slow. Apparently if you walk slow you just need to walk slow but still be so far ahead of hashers behind you that no one believes anyone can be back there, but more on that later.
So then we wandered up railroad tracks. A couple hashers checked the wrong way and then tried to catch up. Cock or Two, having literally just gotten out of the marshy thicket unscathed, found his surface nemesis when running on gravel and train tracks, logically proceeded to wipe out after checking the wrong way. Not that many saw/heard it, but hey it’s in a rehash now and rehashes are on the interweb forever.
Somewhere along the way UC hit Quiz squirtgun with a pussy willow and broke it. Which was the most epic use of a willow since seasons 4-6 of Buffy the Vampire Slayer (especially by Tara). The Blarney bouncer remembered Captain “Tiny Dancer” Cock Controller when we went by his house and just yelled “Tiny Damcer!” over and over again, though Captain neither held him closer, counted headlights on the highway, or laid him down in sheets of linen, although in fairness he did have a busy day today. We ran by a police car that had someone pulled over, who by the grace of Gispert was not us. There were a pile of nonsense missing checks in the neighborhood we were in… quote ,” I meant to put a check there but forgot”.
We soon came to the BN. Well, most of us. Just Laura and It Burns* did not appear during the BN and their whereabouts were unknown. BN completed and we waited for a bit, then we were on out to wander around a neighborhood, arriving at a playground shot check. After several minutes, across the field in the distance Just Laura and It Burns* finally ‘caught up to the pack’. Allegedly they had done the same trail as us, just at a glacial pace. Just Laura’s highwater red boots must have led to such slow trail completion.
After that, in the dark we had a BN at a house which is always lovely. Today was in fact Monday, hashers were in fact all happy and made wagers regarding their buttocks to confirm this, paid out by spinning in a circle with beer on their craniums. Silly half minds without lives. Captain shouted today is a Dyngus Day every time as though he had just recalled what day it was, though he also may have had either deja vu or an acceptable hash behavior level of domestic pilsner.
Onto circle, which our two virgins actually made it to. Hares drank repeatedly. Lots of hashers we hadn’t seen in a while returned, had birfdays, and drank for various accusations. Lots seemed to think they needed cranium gear, likely because they enjoy drinking twice. Our justs also completed trail. A Tweedle and her dog showed up after work for circle.
On after at the Bull and Bear, where we watched Michigan play 14 minutes of the national championship game against Villanova before deciding to take the rest of the night off. Congrats to 3 Dog and Pastor on winning the SOH4 NCAA pool and must have sucked to come in third but not in a positive, life affirming kind of way**.
“The moments of deja vu were coming more frequently, now. Moments would stutter and hiccup and falter and repeat. Sometimes whole mornings would repeat. Once I lost a day. Time seemed to be breaking down entirely” — Neil Gaiman, “Fragile Things: Short Fictions and Wonders”
On – deja vu all over again – on
-One Trick Dick
So, uh, this is a rehash from a live hare for most of it… still looking for pics from the picture checks would should be epic…
Hashers from near and mostly far showed up in the Griffiss Technology and Business Park in Rome for a lovely autumn trail to celebrate the full moon and world peace through beer. OTD hared with an assist from Harry for beer and logistics. We were happy to see the return of Just Mae, Just Julia, CWOP, and welcomed our transplant Kentucky Do Me from Alaska.
After a 12 minute head start for the hare, the pack went out. I’m guessing they wandered around streets and woods finding poorly layed trail through areas long abandoned in the 90’s when there were Air Force base buildings in that area. Now it’s just a weird set of unused streets and areas where they are keeping ‘hard fill’ (their words not mine) for the many road construction projects going on. Shot check and it was off to Beer Near 1.
After another 12 minute head start, the pack was on out to a picture check at the North East Air Defense Sector sign, then down the hill past AFRL/RI buildings, Customs and Immigration office, multiple planes and the airport, and onto another shot check. I heard that at a song check six lead a rousing version of chicken powered team and that Spermy attempted to check across a barbed wire fence onto gov property but was called back. Somewhere in there were multiple clothing swaps. After shot check was onto the World Peace Through Beer near. Delicious beers from around the world were consumed and shared.
After a lengthy BN the back wandered together through a variety of sculptures. Hashers love being on things and in things (naturally), and this was no exception (see pics at end, or more on bookface in groups). From there, it was off to exciting playground options at RFA.
Circle, then onto the after at DiCastro’s for some wood fired pizza, Italian food deliciousness, and beers.
on – World Peace Through Beer 2017 in the books -on,
OTD [One Trick Dick]
What’s that ? You’ve got a fever and the only cure is an OTD rehash ?! If so… you are delirious, seriously, go seek medical attention.
13 plus Fakey 2/3 of way through trail showed up on a beautiful Saturday for Pirates and Pumpkins, and moar bees everywhere. Not to be confused with Pilates and Blumpkins and herpes everywhere, which I’m guessing was Ithaca trail Sunday (cause Peeg and others teach fitness and Dunga and …. f*ck it neermind it wasn’t that clever to begin with).
Two justs Megan and Mike plus birthday Chunks hared some possibly virgin territory on trails and uphilly roads using many way too long falses. To justify uphilly nonsense the justs provided grog and taught a sea shanty at a shot check near a woodland homelessville. Good job justs!
The pack went on-in, where pre closing circle some allegedly straight males discussed their type if they were gay but they aren’t but if they were …
And one of their type was an otter…
Then we almost drowned Chunks. Again.
Then we killed our Just hares Just Megan and Just Mike who were reborn as Imgoodgetonmenow and Ichiball (sp?) after being baptized in flour.
Then we on after drank at the Pale and Bucket. Which may be called that as their food made several turn pale and possibly require a bucket. On the plus side, metric tons of tater tots for all the hashers.
Pics or it didn’t happen ? See below.
On – make rehashes great, or at least happen, again – on
-OTD [One Trick Dick]
Courtesy of No Child From Behind
Short and sweet (unlike the trail) to the Tune of Yesterday:
Trail 268: Fleshies hash
Fleshys Hash…it did not go by in a flash.
But at least there was not a hash crash.
Oh, I Survived Fleshys Hash.
Suddenly, I’m still the halfmind I used to be.
There’s is shiggy hanging onto me.
Oh, Fleshys Hash came prematurely.
Up that stupid Hill we did dash and In the lake no one splashed.
This was a ridiculously long Hash.
Oh …I relieved myself at Fleshys Hash
Mm mm mm On on mm mm mm mm
To the Tune of Green Acres. Not in C sharp…but Drunken Jagged….
Election Hash Was the place to be!
For Trump was Grabbing, a lot of pussy!
Shiggy Stretching so far and wide…
With shitty beer and making hunters Cry!
City Hashing is really Lame!
Verona Beach was far from tame!
Jello shots and that Big Lake view…
With trump and Hillary we know we’re Screwed!
We had shitty Hares!
Good Bye Election Cares!
Election Hash… Weeeee….Were…. Therrrrrrrrre!
It’s the end of trail and the cops are watching us from across Shop City plaza. It’s the second time we’ve seen the cops tonight so instead of pressing our luck, it’s time for a 30 second circle. I splash a little PBR in all welcoming vessels—”You’re stupid, you’re stupid, you’re really fucking dumb, if it wasn’t for your mother, you’d be a stain of cum!”—we drank a social and went on to the on-after. Sure, this was probably the safe option, but there were seriously a lot of down-downs earned on our inaugural Leap Day Hash. So for purposes of the hash record, I, the default RA in absence of any better options, confer the following down-downs (in pseudo-chronological order):
Down-down to the hares (originally Kicky and C/2) for setting a shitty trail
This starts out typically enough.
Down-down to the virgin
Did we actually have one? I think he disappeared in the confusion
Another down-down to the hares for setting a “special trail” in multiple colors of flour
What was special about that? I guess we’ll never know.
Down-Down to Goldie for offering to RA, but not even getting to the legal disclaimer
Why, you may ask, did she not even get that far? This brings us to our next down-down…
Another down-down to the hares for setting a trail from a parking lot that closes at dusk, which the cops routinely check at dusk, and through a park which also closes at dusk. The cops were generally reasonable when they showed up, though I’m pretty sure that bit about thinning out the deer population in Green Lakes was just a ploy to keep us from moving to another parking lot and hashing in the park anyway
Another down-down to the hares for setting a cooler on a private road, getting the cops called on them, and having the cops confiscate our cooler, then recognizing C/2’s plates while they were waiting for us to leave the parking lot. At least the cops gave the cooler back to us so we didn’t have to go get it ourselves!
A down-down to everyone who was indecisive in finding a new location for a live trail (social!–or maybe we can just blame this on our GM?!)
Down-down to those who threw in the towel and skipped our live trail at Shop City (Goldie, Fleshy, Dry Spell, Anal, a few more including our virgin)
Down-down to our newly reconstituted hares (Kicky, C/2, Snidely)
Down-down to everyone who bought beer while we were giving the hares a head start (Ass Full, Pom Pilot, OTD, someone went to the liquor store?!)
Down-down to our hares for setting trail on 90 degree turns without any checks or other indications that we shouldn’t continue straight
Down-down of appreciation to Just Tim for keeping the clock on how long of a head start we’ve given the hares after the shot stop
Down-down to everyone who was impatient and left after only 5 minutes (social!)
Down-down to C/2 for misunderstanding where the BN should be and putting it behind a random building
Down-down to Kicky and Snidely for continuing to set trail even though the pack was no longer following them. (The hares would be pretty drunk at this point!)
Down-down to Ass Full and Chunks for following the rest of trail to find Kicky and Snidely, only to lose it when the hares stopped setting it
Down-down to everyone who skipped C/2’s leg of trail and ran right back to Shop City (social!)
Down-down to anyone who hashed 4 or more times in the last 9 days of February (there’s a few that need to Get a Life, Get a Life Get a Life Life Life!)
May the hash go in peace (may the hash get a piece!)
Thank Gisbert that Leap Day only comes once every 4 years!
-Ass Full of White Man