Hash #81 was a hot and humid one. The wankers gathered in Radisson on Memorial Day in their finest Super Hero garb to honor this fine country of ‘Murica. Captain America, Superman, and both Spider Man and Girl were among the Super Heroes. Pocahontas, a leopard, and Captain Chick in His Pants were also seen. And Nike Man which consisted of Pastor in tights and briefs. There was at least one mullet on trail as well, because nothing says ‘Murica like a mullet. Hares included Vagiantalia, Bushy Cholera, and Pom Pilot.

After the usual nonsense that is chalk talk—introductions, illegible flour marks, and the legal disclaimer, off went the hash in search of cold refreshment. Instead they found a bunch of running and a reverse that led them back to the start. And off again. This time they made their way into the lovely residential areas of Radisson and surely amused and horrified its residents. With the usual silliness of checks and false trails, the hash eventually made their way to the first Beer Near in a lovely backyard of some Radissonites—friends of Vag. The beer was surprisingly good for a hash affair and the shade was cool and pleasant. The hash lingered in the comfort of the backyard, serenaded the hosts with a rousing “Meet the Hashers,” and then was off like a prom dress again.

Back in the blistering sun and sweating profusely, a brief respite was found at a Brown Bag Check. What was in the mystery bag? Wine! After the contents had been drained the hash continued on following flour around the winding pathways and into the woods where there was the second Beer Near with cold beer and pleasant shade. And bugs. So as pleasant as the shade was, the hash had to get a move on.

After the BN the hash made their way through some shiggy and ended up at a playground. Much tomfoolery took place on the playground with swings, slides, and climbing equipment. But alas, the end of trail was near so the stay was not long. As an A-B trail there was shuttling required to get back to the start and conduct circle. That led to some creative carpooling and the answer to how many people can really fit in a toaster.

Waiting at circle we found a virgin Bobbitt. Seriously. He was properly welcomed after hares were publicly shamed for a shitty trail. Even better, the virgin Bobbitt was wearing full street clothes right down to his non-running shoes. Speaking of shoes, Just Lyle did a ceremonial toast out of his new running shoes. PP did a dead bug down-down with Vag pouring. Needless to say that didn’t go well! After all down-downs had been doled out the hash went in peace to get a piece, at least in theory. On –after was at Syracuse Suds on the River in B’ville.

Respectfully submitted,
Came With a Fake Name