Hash #82 was classless. Yep, an Utterly Classless Affair in Madison County. Is there any other kind? Clearly the SOH4 faithful and not so faithful were ready to get their redneck on as there were over fifty hashers who made the trek out to Chittenango Falls State Park.
There was an assortment of classless folks, including plenty of rednecks, lots of references to farms and good ole ‘Murica, and possibly a mullet, but most notable were Rectal Retriever the cigarette smoking teen mom in cut offs and tank top and Shark Week sporting a plaid belly baring shirt, cutoffs, and cowboy hat. SOH4 does classless right. Yep.

There were introductions as we had a visitor from the So Happy It’s Tuesday Hash in Virginia and a few virgins. Rectal joined Fleshlight and Golden Snowball to hare and tried to give a somewhat coherent chalk talk. As usual it was a complete failure and incomprehensible. Kicky bestowed the Shovel of Shame upon Vagiant, the legal disclaimer was mumbled, and the hash set off with no idea of what was going on.

Immediately there was a creek crossing and then up a steep embankment, which was now more difficult with wet shoes. Shitty hares right from the start. After stumbling around the woods for a bit, possibly bleeding a bit, the hash came upon a shot check and a jug of down home goodness. Yee-Haw, now this was becoming a party! Not surprisingly it gave PA an opportunity to climb shit.

And on-out through the woods. At this point Bushy rekindled his love of nature and found a tree to be his companion on trail. He would eventually fashion it into a cross for Captain to bear. The trail came to a grassy area and in the distance a familiar little orange car was spotted. No matter where the trail went, the hash knew what that meant—Beer Near. After the BN, there was shiggy, and then some more shiggy, and then some more shiggy. Eventually they arrived at the second Beer Near is a far shiggyless picnic area. There was much refreshment and a lovely view of Chittenango Falls. But light was starting to wane, so it was on-out, cross and all.

Soon the hash descended and crossed a bridge with a view of the falls. This is where the hash diverged and some continued merrily on trail with the cross and others were beckoned by the cascading water. Those who plunged into the creek waded to the base of the falls and frolicked and played.

Eventually on-out was called and the soaking wet, but extremely happy half-minds made their way back on-in and circled up in the dark. The hares were accused of a shitty trail— not enough shiggy, not enough waterfalls, not enough blood on trail. Then virgins were welcomed and accusations were opened up to the circle. Down-downs were plentiful. Anal had shown up at the end, dressed all fancy and not at all redneck, so she did a down-down for being a late cummer.

And then the hash went in peace to get a piece, and the On-after was at the B&D Bar and Grill in Chittenango. It was late and the kitchen was closing soon, but the kennel managed to get their food and drink on before leaving Madison County behind.

Respectively submitted,
Came with a Fake Name