“Oh Fakey, please tell me a story!”

“Of course, little Captain. I know just the story. While I wasn’t there, I will tell you what I know about the legend of the 126th hash– the grand adventure of PA’s Walkabout! Listen up…

Once upon a time, there were a bunch of half-minds who liked to drink and sing and run and be merry. One day these half minds, led by the silliest half-mind of all named Pleasantly Average and his young apprentice Just Tim, went on a walkabout at Green Lakes. It was cold and snowy and not very green at all, but that was okay because these half-minds were never deterred by weather and of course they had beer at pre-lube. They were jovial and a peace-loving bunch and life was good. But soon the half-minds had to flee because a giant ogre was about to invade their village. The ogre was mean and blood sucking and the half-minds were very afraid. Half-minds scattered haphazardly, leaving behind their modes of transport. But alas, PA and Just Tim had left magical sprinklings in the snow to help guide them away from danger. While PA and his apprentice were the fearless leaders, they were also prone to tomfoolery and trickery so while the half-minds were removed from immediate danger, the sprinklings were not always clear. Eventually they came to a wonderful place that had more beer. For a time the half-minds were happy and lived peacefully, joyfully frolicking and imbibing, but soon their leader PA was calling “On-out” because the ogre was still following them, so off they went scrambling through shiggy in search of more utopian beer paradise. Under the leadership of PA and with the protection of Cunt Watch Own Porn, who was wielding a Shovel of Shame , the half minds made it to the next safe haven. It was a glorious stone castle! There was much rejoicing and celebration! The half minds settled into the comfort of the stone structure and toasted with more beer and song. Fleshlight performed the ceremonial showing of the ass, a half-mind ritual performed in times of great happiness. But alas, the ogre returned and the half-minds had to abandon their beer utopia once again and seek refuge elsewhere. The elements were becoming less kind and soon the travelers had to huddle around bottles of warming fluid to survive! But alas, each moment of safety was briefer than the last. Finally the half minds had gathered again at their modes of transport—safety was almost theirs. They formed the ritualistic circle and thanked their wise leaders for a brilliant trail to safety. They also celebrated the good deeds and kindness of fellow half-minds with public recognition. And at the end of the journey, the young apprentice Just Tim was bestowed with a special name—Snow Me a Blowman and welcomed with a song and shower. The land of Green Lakes had been an exciting adventure, but soon the half-minds knew that they could not survive there and departed for Trappers II where warmth, flowing beer, the promise of hot food, and living in peace to possibly get a piece was the real utopia.

The end.”

Respectfully submitted,
Came with a Fake Name