Trail #642: A Krusty Salute to Juneteenth

Monday - June 19, 2023 - 6:09 pm - 8:09 pm

Celebrate the (almost) longest day of the year in honor of Juneteenth with a something-teen mile trail! Or maybe something-teen kilometers. Or maybe less. Probably less. Not sure yet, just wear something comfortable and avoid loose flowing gold dresses of any sort. Gold suits are acceptable. Footwear should be appropriate for traversing all variants of land, sea and air.

Also, happy (almost) Father’s Day!!! Whether you are a father, farter, DILF-hunter, or simply just have daddy issues- please wear a tie to show your support.

Likelihood of the following on trail-
Roads: 96.9%
Not Roads: 106.9%
Water: yes, there should be a few in each cooler 😉
A BJ: very high
Multiple BJs: very low
Beer: 169%
A precarious interstate crossing: 50%
Pumps: >3
Dumps: ~1
Shot stop: yes
Shit stop: hopefully not
Those who deny it: >19
Those who supplied it: 1

Dogs must have at least two legs, virgins at least three. There will be a horse sighting on trail, but riding on horseback is not permitted. Riding on whoresback is encouraged and will be applauded and/or drunkenly heckled. Bring spray for the buggies.

Location: Marketfair North (northwest corner of south parking lot, east of I481, slightly southwest of Clay Park North, stay south when you hit the sign for Rt 31 East, stay on the south side of the farthest west median, if you get the the railroad tracks you’ve gone toooo far, pin is accurate)

Theme: Teen Dads

On-After: Home Team Pub

Please Rego in advance by clicking “add to cart” below.

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*Note:Please bring your ID! Our hashes are open to all those of you of legal drinking age.

First hash? YAY! We're so glad you picked this one! We are a non-competitive running club focused on having a ton of fun! Be ready for a fun adventure. Bring your sense of humor but leave your new shoes at home.

Upcumming Trails: